how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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