So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
