I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Girls should come with a carfax report
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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