You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
