I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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