I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
