She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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