he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize