I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
