Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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