After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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