That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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