I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
