i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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