We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
