I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
