your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
