gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
