Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
