her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
