doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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