from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
