Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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