i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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