I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
