Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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