Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
