i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
