Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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