Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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