The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize