found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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