I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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