we have pet lesbian snakes
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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