She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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