I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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