You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
