i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
