Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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