sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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