Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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