yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
