I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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