we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
