She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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