Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
