The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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