Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
