I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
