"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
