around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
