If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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