Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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