I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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