Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize