Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
