this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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