I could make wine with my vomit
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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