just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
